I Got Hoes – Garden Pimp – T-Shirt

by BlamTees

We Hope You Got Hoes, Pimp – ‘Cause Gardening Aint Easy!

I Got Hoes Garden Pimp - Crazy T-Shirt by Blam Tees

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This Product is Enhanced with Double Sided Printing:
In Addition to the Unique Design on the Front, The Notorious BlamTees Logo is proudly displayed on the back.

Our Shirts are printed using Premium Flex Print, which Remains Vibrant and does NOT Fade in the wash.
Our Premium Flex Print is much Higher Quality than industry standard Screen Printing

Available in Many Colors
Click Above to See Them All!

At BlamTees - Every Shirt Has A Story

Ol’ Tom was a Farmer.

He dressed in all green, but then one day, He Needed a New Gardening Tool, a Hoe.

So Tom went to his Favorite Place (Second to His Garden of course – which Smelled Like Shit and Dead Fish – because of the Fertilizer)..

The Flea Market (which, Also Smelled Like Shit and Dead Fish – because of the People).

Tom walked around, angry as always, shouting that he needed – “A Hoe”.

Having trouble finding what he was looking for, he finally approached someone and asked – “Do You Know Where I Can Get Some Hoes?

The man’s name was Pedey TK.

Pedey TK said – “Yeah, I heard you shoutin’ bout needin’ a hoe? You Serious?”

Tom: “Yeah, Mines too worn out, just don’t feel the same no more.”

Pedey TK said – “I feel you on that, nobody wants no blown out hoe”

Tom: “So you know where I can get a few?”

Pedey TK said – “Whoa – A few?”

Tom: “Yup, drove here in my truck, there’s room.”

Pedey TK said – “So you looking for Black hoes? White hoes? What?”

Tom: “Color doesn’t matter. All The Same Once They Start Getting Dirty.”

Pedey TK said – “Damn man, you are for real.. Ok, My boy Jermaine Runs a Stand Here, fronts like he selling Gardening Tools. Hasn’t been here in a while, cause he’s Doin’ a Bid, small time shit though, just thirty days, he’ll be back next week.”

Tom: “A 30 Day Bid? Wow, that’s one long auction. I think he’s the guy I was looking for anyway. I didn’t see him here today. I guess cause he’s away at the auction.”

Pedey TK – “Auction?”

Tom: “So when he gets back, he can Sell Me Some Hoes?”

Pedey TK – “Not Sell, more like Lease. Rent.”

Tom: “Oh No. I Need To Own These Hoes. I Need Them To Work. Make My Money.”

Pedey TK – “Oh, Now I Get It. My Man – So You Tryin to Be A Pimp? You Want Your own Stable of Hoes?”

Tom: “Correct. Except, I’d probably Keep Them in My Shed.”

Pedey TK – “Damn! That’s Cold! But That’s Your Business.. Ok So Look, If You Want To Get Some Hoes, You’ve Got To Dress Like A Pimp! Let These Bitches Know What You About! When you see them Workin’ hit them with the proposition. Or just put new ones to work.”

Tom: “I definitely want new ones, not used. Last Used one I had, didn’t work too well. I was Slamming Down into the ground – Head Broke right Off.”

Pedey TK – “What?! Shit.. What’d you do?”

Tom: “To be honest, I was pissed off, just left it right out in the field.”

Pedey TK – “You’re a cold dude, that’s for damn sure. Look, Jermaine will be back next week. Like I said, he runs the Garden Tools table, and don’t worry, that’s just a front. Just go up to him, tell him Pedey TK sent you, and let him know what you’re about, you might be able to do some business together.”

Tom: “So there’s nothing I can do today?”

Pedey TK – “There is one thing. Whether you work with Jermaine or go solo, you’ll still need some new clothes. If you want the hoes to come to you, you have to dress the part.”

Then Pedey TK took Ol’ Tom over to Another Sales Table, and helped him Find a Pimp Suit, and Pimp Hat.

Ol’ Tom took Pedey TK’s advice, and Bought the Pimp Clothes.

A Week Later – Ol’ Tom Returned to The Flea Market, Wearing The Pimp Suit. He went to Jermaine’s Gardening Tools Table, grabbed three Garden Hoes, and paid Jermaine For Them.

Jermaine, looked confused as shit of course. But he thanked Ol’ Tom and sent him on his way.

Ol’ Tom Passed Pedey TK on his way out, and gave him a Thumbs Up.

Pedey TK spotted Ol’ Tom in The Bright Pimp Suit, Complete with the Feathered Hat, Carrying his Garden Hoes and Thought – “WTF? Oh Shit..” Now realizing that Ol’ Tom meant, “Garden Hoes” and not “Prostitutes”.

Unfortunately, Ol’ Tom Never Realized that a Misunderstanding had taken place between himself and Pedey TK.

For The Rest of His Days, Ol’ Tom could be seen Working Out In The Fields With His Pimp Suit On.

Ol’ Tom ended up getting Cut In Half, in some sort of horrible accident..

But His Legacy will live on Forever, on the – I Got Hoes T-Shirt.

So Grab The “I Got Hoes” T-Shirt, and Represent the Legend that is – Ol’ Tom – The Great Garden Pimp.

Rock This Tee – And Share The Story with Your Friends!

I Got Hoes T-Shirts make great funny gifts for friends and relatives. Get yours now and make everyone laugh!

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